Let’s face it. Being in life means to be in a state of constant change. That’s just the nature of life on this earth. Many people don’t like the idea of change because it creates emotional insecurity and instability. It sparks a sense of doubt, a fear of the unknown, or a loss of control, which can be extremely unsettling. Some of us are forced to deal with change, when the Universe presents it to us on a shiny silver platter. “May I introduce you to Mr. Change, he’s not going anywhere until you deal with him – off you go!”
My passion for this topic comes from personal experience with change, and how several serious issues dive-bombed my life simultaneously and rocked my whole world, the effects of which were felt for a number of years, as they reverberated through my marriage, my family, my business and my Self. Pivotal moments are those that change your life forever. These moments include things like being diagnosed with a terminal illness, divorce, dealing with a personal injury or supporting a family member with a chronic sickness, loss of a loved one, aging parents, or having children. When some things change – you are compelled to change everything. “Oh crap, now what?”
What would it be like if we relinquished control and surrendered to something greater than ourselves and placed our trust in the Universe? Knowing that a divine order exists to support and guide us based on what serves our greatest good – our highest purpose.
“All great changes are preceded by chaos.”
These are my personal Do’s and Don’ts of surviving change with grace. Although I came out the other end of it feeling like I’d just been through a meat grinder, I had a greater sense of Self, courage, confidence, wisdom and purpose in my life as a result. I wouldn’t change my difficult experience in for the world. I wish the same result for you.
Michela Q’s Do’s and Don’ts for self-healing:
- Do ask for help and support from people who care about you, including health and wellness professionals. You will not survive if you isolate yourself.
- Don’t busy yourself with ‘doing’ all the time, the real learning and wisdom comes from ‘being’ with your Self, by yourself.
- Do be curious about the lesson to be learned from the situation that has presented itself. Changing your perspective will transform your entire relationship with the experience.
- Don’t place blame, or fall into victim hood (“poor me!”), change that negative energy into positive fuel to propel you forward.
- Do take responsibility for your actions, words and behaviour, remembering that nobody is doing anything to you; you are simply a participant in life’s story. Responsibility: the ability to change your response.
- Don’t be afraid to cry as often as you need to, this is an important release of emotion that will aid the healing process.
- Do take special care of yourself during this difficult time by getting plenty of rest, nourishing your body with healthy food, and taming your monkey mind.
- Don’t put a self-imposed time limit on ‘getting over it’ or ‘healing’ or the need to ‘get back to your regular schedule’; this kind of pressure is unrealistic and unhelpful.
- Do practice a whole lot of self-love and self-compassion for what you are dealing with and know that you do have the power to heal yourself.
- Do take the opportunity to learn and ask for what you need to feel more at ease, happier, or more comfortable with the situation. Your needs are important. If you don’t take care of them, you will burn out.
- Don’t be afraid to tell friends, loved ones and business associates that you are dealing with a difficult situation and that you will be offline or unavailable for some time.
- Do spend time with nature; walking barefoot on the grass or sand, breathing in the fresh air at a local park will bring you peace and perspective, while grounding you to the natural healing properties of the earth.
- Don’t listen to other people’s judgments, unsupportive comments and unhelpful suggestions; surrounding yourself with naysayers is destructive. Instead, learn to listen to your inner voice, which is your greatest guide.
- Do know that this too shall pass, for change is constant. Give yourself permission to let it pass through you and allow yourself to feel it’s passing affect without getting attached to the feelings. You are not your thoughts.
When you survive these changes you become a stronger, wiser, more compassionate individual and your personal values may start to shift. What you thought was important in your life, no longer is. You reach a crossroads at which you are called to examine how you want to spend the rest of your life – perhaps taking this opportunity to lead a more authentic life based on what you’ve discovered about yourself during this process – stepping into who you really are.
Learn how to survive change with grace and step into who you really are.
I work with women, who have reached this crossroad, where what they were doing in their business until now, doesn’t resonate with them anymore based on their new situation and their recent personal experiences. I help realign their personal purpose to their business vision, identify their roadblocks, then guide them to create results focused marketing and business solutions to intentionally create a business they love and live a life of meaning. Get in touch with me if you feel compelled to learn more about this.